this evening, the reunion, went well. I guess. although what we have just 5 members (including me), the absence of others didn't really make any different. why?
yes, why?
because, what we have is more than just bond and see some familiar faces; but we share news and tru these, it did feel like everyone (or at least some that i know, i remember knowing them) were there.
well, i was suprised, am suprise till now.
how? my mind kept asking this.
in this whole universe, how can persons that i know, turn up to be like this?
my scholl, probably not the best, but yes sir, we are product; the best one from the school. few of us end up went to what we call as 'boarding schools'(including me, who decide to run from there after 2 months; i am not a spoiled kid, just too young), some went to bestari schools and some just to other normal schools.
from there, i imagine, yes, up until now, that these bright friends of mine will have a better future.
lilttle that i know, it doesn't turn up that way.
yes, human just plan, and HE decide everything.
Hearing that some quit after studying years in universities; some just go to work and earn little money (from my point of view) and satisfy with just that; some endup married. well, few futher their studies.
i am dissappointed. yes, i am frustrated.
how can, them, i know them for a long time, end up like this??
and how can they talk about it, like it doesnt matter at all?
because, i am thinking foward, and my mind keep saying, this is wrong, but how can they think like that?
one said; i wont futher to degree level, enough with what i have learnt. my mind is full. i cant
take it any longer.
my mind think: this is not true. if u just stop here, what about your future? your wife? kids?
parents? we can control our mind, our brain, how can u said this is enough?
one said; she just choose to quit study, after 2 years in the universities. she said: takde rezeki.
my mind think: those 2 years u spent just for the thought 'takde rezeki?' i dont understand.
how can u decide like that? stop like that?
one said; he is in final year, but the university kick him. if he is given one more chance..
one said; he'll futher in medicine next year, in indonesia, but in high school before spm, he
made a girl pregnant, and now married to her, with 2 children.
one said; the so called genius kid in school, now end up taking lesson as art teacher.
a lot stories that i heard, and many broke my heart.
i am confused, by what is happening.
is it new to me?
no, it is not. but..knowing someone you know do something like that, your mind just cant processed the raw data.
why?
because i am here, with a great path, bright future (insyaAllah) , and i was similar to them in standard school, why my fate is different?
what make it different?
and by that dinner, with 3 girls, and 2 boys ; and 3 of them didnt pray magrib (minus me n my fren), it all become clear.
and how the 2 boys can say that they are 'uzur', even make me chose not to look into their eyes.
our heart determine our mind.
indeed.
from someone who is from religious highschool, although i am now, not as good(tawadu') as i am before, but alhamdulillah, i still can differentiate between right and wrong.
and that is the bestest gift from YOU, ALLAH.
alhamdulillah.
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