future

i know this will be my future

i know i am whining

but once

this once

can i say how tired i am?

i dont want to be a doctor.

i dont think i can live my whole life like this.

i just cant.

syukur

syukur, syukur, syukur

alhamdullilah

masih sihat

masih ada rezeki

masih bernafas

masih ada perasaan

masih ada rasa sayang

masih ada keluarga

masih berdiri tegak

masih waras

yang penting sekali

masih beribadat

masih Islam.

semoga sentiasa bersyukur dengan nikmat Allah ini,

ameen

dear heart

dear heart,

sabar, sabar, sabar.

dear self,

bertahan, bertahan. bertahan.

sesungguhnya, dugaan dan cabaran kali ini,

untuk menentukan masa depan kamu.

jalan ini Dia pilih.

baik dan buruk, telah ditentukan.

dear heart,

berusaha, berusaha, berusaha.

sabar, sabar, sabar.

ikhlaskan hati,

ikhlaskan diri,

it's in the gene

creativity,

why can i have them?

i mean i got my mom- who's in the art field,

and my dad- who's in the science field.

isn't a mix of these produce a genius child who is smart enough in art and science??

i mean, i cant draw- beautifully.

i cant paint- beautifully.

i cant do craft- though how much i want to do it.

why am i talentless?

so right now all i have is the science knowledge in me.

great just great. thanks dad, you leave no room for my mom.

can i be multitalented i.e in both science and art?

coz some people-or all people that i know can,

so why cant i?

even all my siblings i.e my lil sis, lil bro, big bro get the art genetic...

so why am i the only one??

me is a loner? or me just dont even try to find my ability talented me in art field??

i dont even know....

different

so today or perhaps i should use tonight...

is a bit different

start with everything goes wrong,

the presentation, the life, the food, everything is a mess.

the day, and even the night.

i dont even know what happened with me,

these fews days, everything that these certain people do irritate me.

and the number of these people keep adding up each day,

god i hate me for being such girly blamy but seriously,

it irritate me so much that i need to hold my tounge from sayin words that could hurt others.

and him.

he is the only thing that balance my life, right now.

thank god i have him

without him, i know i'll go crazy.