D9

class started. SURGERY posting. briefing and i went back to room. i am lazy. yes i am. i still feel empty..

i was fasting on this day

today mission; 

aloe                           (/)
tea                            (/)  1.2L
2 shakes                    (/) for sahur and break-fast
plain water                 (/) 1.95L


break-fast: spaghetti meatball (given by friend) + 3 brownies
snack: mini ritter sport yogurt flavour 

D7, D8

D7

saturday; went to Terengganu for classmate's wedding

today mission; 

aloe                           (/)
tea                            (X)
2 shakes                   (X)
plain water                 (/) ; lots

it's not a cheat day. it's just... i feel empty, again..

lunch: kenduri's food. nasi pelangi+ayam sambal+daging+ air sirap+ plain water
snack: sotong goreng tepung + 1/2 pari goreng+ air kelapa limau  
dinner: none taken
snack: betik + kek lapis sarawak

end up using my money; a lot. rm40 (fuel+snack), rm22 (gifts), rm7.50 (wedding gift), rm35 (new tudung from kelantan)

D8

feeling empty, it's still there. i wish it can go away..

today mission; 

aloe                           (/)
tea                            (/)  800mL
1 shakes                    (/) for breakfast 
plain water                 (/) ; 1.35L

lunch: nasi ayam penyet+ lemon ice (estimated rm14.00)
snack: 2 chicken mcmuffin... given by friend, and i cant say no
dinner: nasi arab. given by friend
snack: 2 brownies... given by friend..


bought 3 new novels; great deal since it's books fair: rm40.70

my diet is ruined, but i dont feel guilty

i am glad i have u,
       the one that understand
           tries to understand me,


                                   12/11/12
                                         10:03pm

I want to feel lost in my own world,
    in my own self, true self
 without the needs to think
   anything
   you
   me
   others
   impossible, but
     worth to try it
  as every day I'm losing myself
    bit by bit,
  will i ever keep my own me?
    will i'll be me again?


             12/11/12
              9:21pm

D6

the notes;all left untouched.. hmm

finish watching i miss you episode 1; crying like a stupid person..

finish reading recapped episode of i miss you episode 1 n 2; still crying like a stupid person.
   idk why, my heart just feel pain.. idk why... my tears just keep on falling..

anywaysss

today mission; 

aloe                           (/)
tea                            (/)  2L
2 shakes                    (/) for breakfast n lunch
plain water                 (/) ; current volume: 2.6L

dinner             : young tau foo from pasar malam; 1 = rm0.40, total 5.60 (with 0.80 kangkungs), rm2.50 ayam bakar bahagian dada, rm1 benda cucuk cucuk. 3 kopok lekor from friend.

snek di malam hari:   3 hiris betik. 

hmmm diet la sgt. entah.

I cried
Tears running down my cheeks, still
Raindrops...
Pain, my heart is in pain
I cried
and cried
even when I smile
   because my pain is only mine.
   Raindrops
   Raindrops
   Droplet... can you go faster?
     So fast that i cant feel the pain
     So fast that i cant linger about it
     Rain drops
     Raindrops
     You're all mine, still.


November 09,2012. 8:26 am
 

D5

today; i think about my future; about me, him and us... hmmm =(

anyways;
today mission; up till  10:13pm:

aloe                           (/)
tea (2L)                      (/)  
2 shakes                    (/)
plain water                 (/) ; current volume: 2.55L (dont know why, i keep on feeling thirsty...)

lunch:                  
nasi ayam penyet jungle rm5

snack lazat di waktu petang; 4 slice cheese kek. hahaha omg am i dieting ke ???? saja hadiah diri n kenduri kawan2 sbb lulus exam.........

fail gila diet nya =.=

bye!

19 things to stop doing in your 20s

19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibil

ity for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.

2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.

3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.

4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.

5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.

6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.

7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.

8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.

9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.

10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.

11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.

12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.

14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.

15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.

16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.

17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.

18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.

19. Stop being afraid.

CREDIT: BURIED LIFE.

THIS IS GOOD. FOR ME N FOR U =)

WISH LIST

this post will be updated/edited regularly; since my wishes tend to change? kekke

have some in ourbucket.comthingy.. but that one, have time line..

sooo, this one just general wish list, that can be edited..

as when i'm older, become matured n wiser (pray for that) n i can see back how useful/weird/not useful my wishes are.

these are copies from my twitter;

1.  i want to feel/know what it's like to fall in love in late 20s n 30s.. is it d same? or u're just knew he is d one?

basically, since i am in r/ship since 2006, so in my late teens and 20s, it always, has been the same guys. the feeling changes everyday, some day it;s too good to be lovers, some day, i just wish i am single and free.   SO i just curious how the r/ship will b in 30s or late 20s where i assume most of us are matured/wiser enough at that time... or is it we still a child/childish personality in front the person we love.

2. swimming wearing bikini @ naked at beach..(hahaha wish i have private beach..but i reaaly really wanna try this)

maybe this wish cant be fulfill,, since it;s aurah etc etc, but deep down... i'm bad like that.. yes blame the TV show,.. but i always wanna do this, feel this , u know like others too.well honey, maybe we can built  a pool just for us, and high fence so no one can see us swimming =)

3. color my hair burgundy;;; straighten my hair..(will do bila da yakin. skrg tgh was was dgn hukum..)

well the (...) explains it all.

4. tattoo. butterfly at right medial right  n cupid at hip bone..and pierce my belly button.. (THIS WONT B FULFILLED)

well, it's haram. but i just think tattoo and piercing and weird place is hot and sexy and steamy and etc etc as long its not done by malays. kekkee. it;s a turn off, for me;really when a malay do it. idk why.

5.kissing in the rain. have a jacket on top of my head, walking together (OK TYSM DAWSON FOR THIS WISH; ur influence......is too much)

nothing.. i just think it;s romantic, and sweet and loveable and dreams and HAH! i blame you dawson's creek for making me want this!!

OK THAT'S ALL. 

tq!

D4

still tk habis kemas nota..

I  MISS U, by pyc 1st episode todaaay; am already finish streaming it =)

anywaysss

today mission; up till 9:51pm:

aloe                           (/)
tea                            (/)  1.6L (will make another 400mL after post this)
2 shakes                    (/)
plain water                 (/) ; current volume: 1.85L (still long days, i can drink another 150mL

lunch:                       GEMOK! set at noodle station: fries & 6 i mean SIX smoky bbq chicken wings.. n i finish it by myself.. coleslaw (didnt count coz didnt eat it) + ice peach tea   rm17
snek di malam hari:   currently NONE yet


shake today: mix choc + tropical fruit both for bfast n dinner; so that i can hide the banana taste.. N it's yummier =)

bye.tc. gonna tidy up my notes

D3

well, resort back all yr3 n yr 4 notes~ phew... still lots i need to sort;


today mission; up till 11.01pm:

aloe                           (/)
tea   2L                     (/)
2 shakes                    (/)
plain water                 (/) ; current volume: 1.95L

lunch:                       bihun soto (yummy, 1st time try kat tempat baru)   rm4
snek di malam hari:   roti light weigh whole meal gardenia? 1 keping cicah mushroom soup (tq orang belanja)


*still dislike tropical fruit flavour
*harini tk rasa lapar,maybe sebab bangun lambat so breakfast shake lambat, lunch pn lambat.

p/s: jom stadi prepare utk next posting; SURGERY  =)

3 things.

ONE

yesterday,
during dinner; tropical fruit flavour.....i dont like it, at all.... it smells and tastes like banana; and i hate , well do not admire banana.....

and at 10.30 pm... i feel hungry.. maybe becaus i didnt lunch yesterday....??
so i end up eating junk food aka keropok & 1 gardenia muffin....

cry T.T

i need to buy fruits to munch on as healthy snacks...


TWO

D2.
start with aloe; after discuss with angah, i decided to drink bout 100 +-50 mlm water with aloe, so that i can drink it faster even though it'll be more concentrated..

drink tea is awesome, i like it hot/warm- easy for me to drink & it taste like green tea

shake; made breakfast with tropical fruit. since am not breakfast person... decided to drink tropical fruit only for breakfast... the yummy chocolate is only for dinner =)

plain water; awesome, i always love it, drink a lot, LIKE A LOT. hehe

(edited since i can write what i eat/drink)

aloe                           (/)
tea                             (/) ; 1.6L only
1 shakes                    (/) ; during breakfast only
plain water                  (/) ; 2.2L

lunch:                        biskut famos amous 3 ketul  (orang bagi),  bihun goreng + telur mata (rm2); buah jambu potong (rm1); satu sudu pasembor; satu   mangkuk ABC (orang belanja)

snek di malam hari:   sushi (rm5), keropok roller coaster perisa cheese 1/4 paket... (naseb tk sedap)

p/s haha gila fail program diet!

THREE

alhamdulillah.. alhamdulillah
result for paeds final posting is out; lulus. PASS. alhamdulillah =)

so now focus on surgery;
n revise for PRO exam.

=)

D1

so, today is D1 for eating healthy lifestyle....hopefully it ends well n i manage to follow tru.

this blog will be like my, diary food like? hehehe

so..

last night..

estimated weight:65kg
estimated height:159cm

measurement:
chest: 36.5 inch
waist: 33 inch
hip: 41.5 inch
left arm: 11 inch
left thigh: 26.5 inch
left shin: 15.5 inch

will update measurement each week..

so currently am drinking the tea.. it's tasteless...kinda weird...

the aloe is so sour omg i cant swallow it..

T.T dont know how long i can stand this.

kyaaa~ after finishing tea..should drink the shake.. make it choc flavour today =)

(edited since i can write what i eat/drink)

aloe                           (/)
tea                             (/) ; 2L
2 shakes                    (/) ;
plain water                  (/) ; 2L

lunch:                        1 muffin gardenia (malas nk keluar beli food)

snek di malam hari:    keropok mister potato perisa tomato; 1 muffin gardenia~

p/s haha gila fail program diet!

bye!