i tried to be O.K but failed.

this is too lame.
my dear me,
dearie me.
stop it can you??

ughh.. i am too tired to face this drama again.
please stop whining,
or crying,
even cursing.
you deserve better,
well not for now.

grab all that you have now, or else..
you'll end up losing it...

teary me,
aching me,
owh dear heart,
stop pounding for every lil details of your life.
stop o please stop, just stop.

i need you to stop.
so that my soul wont hurt that much.
my pride wont be thrown away.
please,
i beg you, my heart to stop.
stop and stop
he's not worth for your future,
even he seems to be now.

TQ

can time pass a lil bit more slowly?

ugghhhhh..
starting tomorrow: study week...
the next one week: final exam for this neuro/musculoskeletal block..

i am barely starts opening my books...yet.. =(
busy me busy me busy me
wish i can have more time,..
i end up spending my time doing unworthy thingy..
but heck..i like doing the unworthy thingy...

the next 2 week: study week for pro exam..
then..middle of may: first pro exam
i cant say how scared i am...
really?
nah~ i am zero...i mean empty feelings..
yes need to start study..
like-now-ish
but...

busy me busy me busy me...

why i find this job like now-ish?
aaaah~ job that really fit with my passionate feeling..
really make me go to the fullest..
yet..job that make me spends all my study time doing something else...
seriously..
i should just go
semi hiatus or maybe hiatus for a while...

oh japan!~
wait for me~
be it tokyo dome or juz another dome *need to look for price again*
wait for me~
i'll scream outloud~
i'll bring all icassies dream & tears~
wait for me =)

see~i should juz keep quiet..
till exam's over..
wishing myself best of luck~
=)

it's not the end, but a beginning

*sigh*

how i end up spending my weekend with tears, google-ing and updating myself and end up crying once again.

there u go! all my long list of plan to study ... end up being just a plan.

sorry dear myself, how depressed and sad u have been..

this weekend really feels like a long weekend.

the most shocking news..not that shocking coz deep down u already can guess it...but still..

hearing this news did tear your heart, making your world goes upside down..

and make u cry..a lot...and you dont even realize that u've been crying...up from 8pm till 2 am in the morning..

dear me...

u know how stupid urself can be...

but still...u let urself be like this...

coz deep down..crying is one way to punish yourself..

to love them very much till ur heart ache...

till u feel hard to breath..

while they dont even know u're there...

dear me...

please...keep this in mind..

no matter how much you love them..

u are not a part of their world..

since only one know exactly what happened in his own body...

believe them...keep on believing..and supporting..

each one of them...

coz at least..that what u can do...

rather than spending the nights ..

soak urself in tears..

coz u juz need to believe them..

and always keep the faith..

coz they,.remind you..how you really wish to be different,,

how hard u cn try to achieve ur dream..

and how comforting they said..

when it's ok for not being in the path that u want rite now..

as long as u try harder to achieve ur dream..

dear me, remember...that u have responsibilities too..

AKTF