Monday blues.

maybe it's more to weekend blues, lead to monday blue..

he left me,

not officially left me,

but silent do kills.

kills me,

my heart,

my feeling.

it kills me, and as much i want him to know it,

i want him to deserve it,

deserve me not having any feelings for him.

i dont know what is my next path.

i'm still not brave enough to let him know,

letting my heart know that my brain currently hate to think about him,

refuse to think of him.




mean while,

i'll do subs,

looking at phone a little while,
still hoping that light will come,

but i guess not,
maybe not tonight
maybe not this time..



i listen to this,

 while looking at the meaning..

try to relate with my situation,
then allow myself to cry a river tonight,
last time.

 and end the day while looking at him,
dreaming and hoping,
everything will be just fine,


and,
i'll be fine too.


thank you.

Holiday

Cuti sempena habis posting surgery; 2 weeks.

went to JB for classmate receptions,
JPO,
Jasin,
Cheras (high schoolmate house)

home, finally.


Today, result for surgery posting's out.

ALHAMDULILLAH, i pass the exam!

3 more postings, 3 end block exam and 2ND PRO EXAM.

May ALLAH make it easy for me, to face all of this..




well,

currently am 3rd day of being at home,
am 2nd day of back to so-called diet, let us see...


and,
am currently go back to what i do know i'll do best,

subbing, yes his drama.

just because,
am on holiday
=)



next!

mandarin,
cantonese,
japanese,
korean,
tagalog,
spanish.

why i have the ability to understand it, (just based on watching series, or listen to people speaking),
but can't converse?speak?communicate? in these languages?


what a waste. waste of my talent. yes i know.

do speak mandarin and cantonese, only if ONLY patient dont understand/cant talk in malay or english AT ALL.

do speak japanese, korean, tagalog and spanish, only if ONLY am alone, watching series... am conversing with myself, well maybe the series' characters too,

just because

sometimes,
it does feel good,
to not becoming you

just that.
be brave dear self
embrace it
endure it
you can do it
just do it


cause NIKE said so =).