22/12/09

Today,

Gloom as the other days

The sky rain, as if

my heart crying out loud

These tears of mine want

to go out, pouring like

rain,

but.

like always, I will

denied it.

22/12/09

9.54 pm

answer

is it yes or no?

give me an answer.

coz i need you to,

to ensure i dont get lose.

p/s: baby, i miss you a lot, why dont u contact me?

because i love you that much

because i need you that much

i hurt me

i hurt you

and

i am not strong enough

to let you go

i love him

huahuahua

pagi pagi da mengong

sja gatal gila nk post

slalu cm emo ja

so bila this time da rs cm angau,

nk la jg postkn ke-angauan itu

.

.

.

.

he makes me smile

just this

.

.

.

.

and he makes me loves

.

.

.

oho, next time bila cm rs tk syg, sila wat vid call oke?

coz i always oke je nk wat vid call

heeeeee

long distance relationship yg mcm naek kapal dlm lautan berombak-ombak,

tp sebab syg, redah je ombak ombak tu.

nnti da tk syg, nk terjun laut, berenang ke darat smula la.

huhuhu

tp jgn risau,

ttp je syg, cuma kdg2 ada up and down.

sbb sy memg mengada, sntiasa plu di upkn prasaan syg itu

huahuahua

if tk, sy rembat je mamat laen.

heeee

nope, u're still d one.

kahwin

tetiba rasa nk tulis psl topik ni.
huh,
kontroversi betul.

bila tkde boyfren,
org sebuk tya bila nk ada boyfren?
bila ada boyfren,
org sebuk tya bila nk tunang?
bila da tunang,
org sebuk tya bila nk kawen?
bila da kawen,
org sebuk tya bila nk dpt anak...

ok, thank u, thank u.
sy tau anda begitu sebuk nk tau,
tp seriously,
annoying ok.

tya mcm ble ja tuan diri bgtau jawapn..
oh, sy esok kawen la
then lusa dpt anak..

common sense la
mmg la common sense stiap human being ni lain2,
tp benda mcm ni pon nk tya2.

agk agk org yg tya tu either dia nk org tya dia balek kot..

oh ni sy jawab

oh tk tau lg la nk kawen bila.
mmg la sy da kapel lama dgn dia,
mmg la dia da bg cincin dkt sy,
mmg la da jumpa family,
tp awak nk tau jg ke plan hidup sy n dia yg mmg tk melibatkn awak??

mmg la sy nk kawen oke,
sapa yg tknk kawen,
tmbh tmbh bila da ada calon,
tp awak tk rasa ke sy ada life goals yg lg penting dr kawen??

ye la, myb awak punya life goal nk kawen kan,
tp sy pya life goals byk oke.
mksudnya, kawen tu sy letak belakang2.

sy nk kerja, sy nk ade $, sy nk tolong family, adek bradek,
sy nk wat amal jariah, sy nk join human right programme,
sy nk smbung stadi, sy nk pegi oversea,
dan bermcm mcm lg yg sy da plan.

then awak ckp, ala lepas kawen ble jg wat smua life goals sy tu.

ye sy tau, sy pkir jg oke.
tp dr mghabeskn duit mk bpk nk wat knduri sy,
baek sy gna duet sndiri ntok knduri sy.

dr sy n suami sy kna bjimat crmat bila kawen time stadi,
baek kitorg kawen time da kerja di mana pndaptn da tetap.

awak ingt nk tgok yg positif je?
sy timbang ke dua dua nya.

awak ingt nk kawen, then hidup bahagia slama lamanya?

sy kna fikir all the possibilities,
be it the worst things.

sy memg tk mcm awak
ohw sy tau awak ckp sy tk mcm pmpuan laen
ye sy tau sy tak.

n sy bsyukur sy tak.
awak tk tau btapa sy annoyed dgn kwn2 time sek bila diorg ckp psl kawen
sbb ms tu sy pkir psl if cerai??? if husband mati??

awak tktau btapa sy menanges bpkir,
patutkah sy ubah life plan sy smata2 ada seorg lelaki meng-intrude dlm hidup sy.

dn jawapn sy tidak.
ye,
sy selfish.
mmg sya akui.
tp ini selfish ntok sy.

diri sy,
n tkde kena mengena dgn kamu oke.

kamu nk kawen nnti, jmputla sy.
psl sya tkpyh tya,
kalau ada knduri sy jemput la.

sy tk mati pon kalau tk dpt kawen.
so tk pyh risau,
mcm sy ckp,
kawen tu bukan priority sy skrg.

sekian.
tq.