missing 'the F.R.I.E.N.D'

Dear F, u know who u are..
and if u read this,
u should know, this is from my heart.

F,
i know you are still hurt from everything,
but can you just let them go?
because i need you so, and now, i will never let you go.

F,
i realise my mistakes, but you should too, yours.
dont let all the years we already had slipped away...
i mean it.
i never meant to hurt you, nor that i want to break your heart.
i just want us to be friends, like we used to.

F,
you have that special place in my heart,
you never had too worry about me, comparing you and him...
because i wont..
you and him are different.

Yes, he is special to me.
Close to me.
But, you too.

I am not greedy, but i want you, both of you.
because i still need you, my best friend to talk to.
and i still need him, my boyfriend to love to.

F,
don't ask me to make choice, because i just wont.
you are special the way you are, so does him.
and i am blissful enought, to have both of you.

Dont blame me for choosing him,
dont blame him for asking me..
i know where my heart goes to, when you left me
i know where your heart goes, when you come for me.
but,
i already make the decision,
i wont left him, not for you.
yes, i need you,
but i need him too.

you want me to be happy,
but by leaving me, you make me sorrow.

you want me to choose you,
how can i wen my heart say no?

when i met you, my mind want to know you,
because we are friends, not more than that.
if then, you understand that, you'll find me.
and i am...
still waiting.